Thursday, August 11, 2011
Blog has moved to WordPress
Please find me at my new location: http://sunshinelady512.wordpress.com. This blog is no longer active. Thank you. Email me at sunshinelady512@gmail.com.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Be not conformed….
The Apostle Paul wrote in his epistle to the church in Rome, “…and do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the Will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:12, NIV). These principles can be applied to the development of Christian organizations, as well. Christians are not called to lead organizations in the same way that any secular leader would, but rather to lead in a way which is pleasing to God, so that both the organization and its people are completely changed for the better.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Essential Principles for Christian Character Development in Teens and Young Adults
The following is a list of principles essential to the Christ-like character development process, including principles and concepts essential to developing and implementing character formation activities. Specific detail is given as to the application of each principle as it relates to teaching and guiding young people in their character development process. The teenage years are unique because parents and teachers need to take a step back and learn to become observers who influence rather than control behavior of the young people under their care.
Recognizing Personal Frailty.
Christians must recognize that human beings lack the capacity and the resources to save themselves and, therefore, are in desperate need of Jesus’s redemptive power. Salvation can only come through His Grace. This acknowledgement of weakness causes Christians to turn to God for help. Jesus shows His followers that the way to prepare for entrance into the Kingdom is to first and foremost admit their poverty of spirit and open their hearts to that which only God can provide. Human weakness is constantly pointed out by failure to break free from the bonds of sin by human effort – reminding people of the need for Christ.
Taking Responsibility for Actions.
It is through meekness and submission to Christ that Christians are made to realize the fact that they are weak in their sins. Christ-like meekness means being able to recognize personal faults and taking responsibility for them. The world tells its citizens that they need to be strong and powerful and submit only to the standards that they set for themselves. Pride and self-centeredness are seen as virtues in the earthly kingdom. One of the worst things for a parent or teacher to do when the young people in their care make mistakes would be to let them get away with the wrong-doing. If young people don't see any negative consequences that resulted from their poorly-made decisions, they will continue down the wrong path. They need to be taught that actions have consequences. young people are old enough that they should no longer be treated like little children, but through it all, they need to be shown love, and more importantly, the love of God.
Obeying the Will of God.
Essentially, the Biblical character development process involves dying to self and self-wishes in order to obey the will of God. What truly matters is the recognition of human frailty and inability to please God, on top of the fact that God is in control. One developmental problem that young people have is a tendency to think that the world revolves around them, so-to-speak. It is an unfortunate fact that too many young people usually put their own desires above all else. They need to be shown the reality that Christians must put their lives in the hands of Jesus and trust in His strength rather than their own. Choosing to follow Jesus means putting Him first, before their own wants and wishes, and their desire for their own earthly self-preservation.
Repentance from Sin.
Young people need to be shown that failure is part of life, and it is okay to make mistakes. Discipleship does not require perfection, but rather recognition of failure, true repentance, and receptivity to being lead by Christ. Christians recognize their own unworthiness of the forgiveness they have received through Christ and therefore forgive others because they are themselves forgiven. Contrary to the way the world sees it, forgiveness does not need to be “deserved.” Christians don’t get what they deserve, or they would not be saved. Everyone is a sinner in the eyes of God, but God shows mercy by forgiving people while they are still sinners. Christians have the best understanding of what it really means to be merciful because they themselves have been shown mercy by God.
Making the Right Behavioral Choices.
The Kingdom character development process is more than just a set of codes by which Christians must live their lives. Growth in true Christ-likeness goes from merely control by laws and rules to control by the heart's desire to please God. Becoming Christ-like in character also includes the out-pouring of values in behavior. young people need to be given just the right amount of freedom. If they have been raised properly, with the right set of morals and values, they will hold to their Christian character and make the right decisions. When they make mistakes, as they invariably will, they need to be treated with love.
Facing/Overcoming Hardships and Trials.
The teenage years are traumatic and stressful for all involved: parents, teachers, and the young people alike. Therefore young people need to be shown that it is a natural part of the Christian life to face a variety of different kinds of hardships and trials. A fact that too many Christians hate to admit is that it often takes suffering to bring about an honest change of heart. As is evidenced in Romans 5:3b-5, Christ-like character development requires that Christians overcome the hardships they face, because then they are able to grow in their relationship with God.
Setting Limits/Boundaries.
Parents and teachers are called by God to undertake the task of properly instructing the children in their care, which includes necessary correction and discipline. The goal of setting limits/boundaries for what children can and cannot do is to create a sense of motivation toward being responsible, empathetic, and caring, not just because it is important to their parents and teachers, but because it is important to them. Children need to realize that when they disobey or act in a disrespectful manner towards their parents and teachers it is really God who is not being obeyed and honored.
REFERENCES
Arnold, E. (1935). Extracts from salt and light. Sussex: Plough.
Barna, G. (1996). Transforming children into spiritual champions. Ventura, CA: Regal.
Cameron, T. (n.d.). Becoming ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’: The development of the self-regency mechanism from birth to 18 years. Cape Town, South Africa.
Cameron, T. (2000). Summary of seminar by Dallas Willard. Ministering the kingdom with Jesus today. Cape Town, South Africa.
Cameron, T. (n.d.). The companions Jesus wants. Unpublished manuscript.
Cameron, T. (n.d.). Our ABC towards understanding what process God installed in man for conformity to Christ. Cape Town, South Africa.
Dubuid, I. (2001). Hero of heroes: Seeing Christ in the beatitudes. New Jersey: P & R Publishing.
Edwards, J. (n.d.). Experience that counts. A treatise concerning religious affections, abridged. Darlington Co. Durham: Evangelical Press.
Luther, M. (2003). On Christian liberty. Minneapolis, MI: Fortress Press.
Murray, A. (n.d.). Absolute surrender. Chicago: Moody Press.
Tripp, T. (1995). Shepherding a child's heart. Wapwallopen, PA: Shepherd Press.
Willard, D. (1988). The spirit of the disciplines: Understanding how God changes lives. San Francisco: Harper Collins.
Barna, G. (1996). Transforming children into spiritual champions. Ventura, CA: Regal.
Cameron, T. (n.d.). Becoming ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’: The development of the self-regency mechanism from birth to 18 years. Cape Town, South Africa.
Cameron, T. (2000). Summary of seminar by Dallas Willard. Ministering the kingdom with Jesus today. Cape Town, South Africa.
Cameron, T. (n.d.). The companions Jesus wants. Unpublished manuscript.
Cameron, T. (n.d.). Our ABC towards understanding what process God installed in man for conformity to Christ. Cape Town, South Africa.
Dubuid, I. (2001). Hero of heroes: Seeing Christ in the beatitudes. New Jersey: P & R Publishing.
Edwards, J. (n.d.). Experience that counts. A treatise concerning religious affections, abridged. Darlington Co. Durham: Evangelical Press.
Luther, M. (2003). On Christian liberty. Minneapolis, MI: Fortress Press.
Murray, A. (n.d.). Absolute surrender. Chicago: Moody Press.
Tripp, T. (1995). Shepherding a child's heart. Wapwallopen, PA: Shepherd Press.
Willard, D. (1988). The spirit of the disciplines: Understanding how God changes lives. San Francisco: Harper Collins.
Lessons on distinctively Kingdom character development from the example of the apostle Peter
Theoretical Analysis
When it comes to the Christ-like character development process, what we are really talking about is a matter of discipleship, true heart change, Kingdom character development or sanctification, since all of these terms really mean one and the same thing. In the context of Scripture, there is significant evidence of it at work in many different Biblical characters, one of whom is Simon Peter, also referred to as Cephas.
Essentially, the Biblical character development process involves dying to self and self-wishes in order to obey the will of God. The New Testament provides a great deal of insight into the life of the Disciple Peter. There are a variety of different passages that focus on the development of his Christ-like character through the circumstances he was involved in, the challenges he faced, the behavioral choices he was presented with, the source of empowerment he selected, and the final outcomes. He walked a particular path through his life’s journey before reaching his final maturity level.
Circumstances
There isn’t much background information provided about Peter, other than the facts that he was a fisherman who was a disciple of John the Baptist. The initial Biblical reference to him can be found in John 1:35-42 where Jesus calls His first disciples. It took Peter a while to understand what Jesus was teaching, so on numerous occasions, he asked Jesus for an explanation. This displayed not only his lack of understanding, but also, more importantly, his desire to learn and to seek the truth.
From the time of his calling, Peter had a heart-felt desire to serve and follow Jesus, - he just initially lacked the necessary understanding. In Matthew 16:13-20, Peter declared his belief about the true identity of Jesus – as The Christ, The Messiah, The Anointed One. Peter knew who Jesus was, - he just didn’t initially fully understand what Jesus’s role really entailed. It took a while for Peter to honestly absorb and fully comprehend the teachings of Jesus.
Originally he didn’t understand that Jesus’s Kingdom was not an earthly one, but a Spiritual one. Peter had a view of the duty of the Messiah that was more in alignment with a commonly held Jewish believe of the time than with who Jesus actually was. He expected Jesus to overthrow the governing authorities, and wanted political power and favor in the Kingdom that Jesus talked about establishing. When Jesus talked about being the Suffering Servant who must die and be raised again (Matthew 16:21-28), Peter refuted His teaching, saying that it would not happen that way. Peter didn’t understand that it needed to happen that way. When Jesus was betrayed by Judas and taken captive by the authorities, Peter couldn’t grasp what was happening and why. It was this shattering of his worldview that opened his eyes to the truth and brought about his radical change of heart.
Challenge to Peter
Peter believed that he was a righteous man and a devout follower of Jesus. He believed that he was an exemplary disciple who would allow himself to be lead anywhere by Jesus and through anything, even unto death. In Matthew 26:33, Peter vehemently asserts to Jesus, “Though all become deserters because of you, I will never desert you.” Yet Jesus responds to this statement by foretelling of Peter’s betrayal (Matthew 26:34-35, Mark 14:30, and Luke 22:34), by stating that despite his protestations to the contrary, Peter would deny Him three times that very same evening.
Choice Before Him
When Peter was confronted with the reality of what it truly meant for Jesus to be the Messiah, it shattered his worldview. As he watched Jesus’s arrest, he was in shock and perhaps didn’t know what to do or how to react. When Jesus was arrested, he continued to follow Him, at least physically. He was forced to realize that what Jesus had been saying about His having to suffer and die was coming to fruition. Perhaps he feared for his own life, wondering if the same fate would befall him. He saw only the fact that Jesus was about to suffer and die, not that He would be raised again from the dead, as foretold in the Scriptures. When Peter was confronted in the courtyard (Matthew 26:69-75), his first reaction was to protect himself, rather than to honor Jesus. It was easy for him to follow Jesus as his Rabbi (teacher) when there were no consequences for his loyalty, but when he was faced with the choice of where his loyalties truly lay, he thought only of himself and denied Jesus. He succumbed to the temptation to put his own wellbeing first above his discipleship to Jesus. It wasn’t until he heard the rooster’s final crow, and remembered what Jesus had told him, that he truly understood the situation that he was in. When Peter realized what he had done, he repented, and wept bitterly over his sin.
Source of Empowerment He Selected
Peter’s own betrayal of Jesus, and his desire to again prove his loyalty, had probably been on his mind since Jesus’s crucifixion. His heart-felt and painful repentance brought about a significant change in him. John 21 recounts Jesus’s third appearance to His disciples after the Resurrection. Verse 7 indicates that as soon as Peter recognized Jesus, he was so anxious to see Him again that he jumped into the water to get to Him more quickly, while everyone else waited to come in on the boat. It is entirely possible that he expected to be able to walk on water again, as he had done before in Matthew 14:25-33, but essentially what matters was his earnest desire to prove the loyalty to Jesus, a loyalty which he had previously rejected.
Verses 15-19 describe the scene following the breakfast on the beach, where Jesus personally interacts with Peter, apart from the other disciples. In this passage, Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves Him, and when he answers in the affirmative, he is told to minister to the children of God, “tend my sheep.” He denied Jesus three times, so he was allowed the opportunity to repent by confirming three times that he really did love Jesus.
Final Outcomes
Peter’s life is an example of the fact that God’s sanctification process is primarily one of bringing about the death of self-focus, while relying on God’s strength. He recognized when he had sinned against Jesus and repented of that sin. His life was not without flaw, but it was not expected to be. Only Jesus was capable of living a sinless life – Peter was not, as he was only human.
The lesson that can be learned from the life of Peter is that discipleship does not require perfection, but rather recognition of failure and true repentance. A Christian who claims to follow Jesus in all aspects of life can still make mistakes. The saying is that, “Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven,” because when a Christian makes a mistake, as they invariably will, they repent and are forgiven.
Peter made a mistake by denying his personal relationship with Jesus – a momentary lapse of judgement, a choice which he regretted bitterly. His apology to Jesus was in the form of his trice affirmation of his true love for Jesus. A fact that he was able to prove, time and time again, in his later ministry. His teachings about Jesus are made clear in his epistles.
As is often the case in the life of Christians, Peter’s failure brought about a greater strength. It was through his crisis of faith, in his denial of Jesus, that he was made stronger in his faith. A fact that many Christians hate to admit is that it often takes suffering to bring about an honest change of heart. What truly matters is the recognition of human frailty and inability to please God, on top of the fact that God is in control. Christians must put their lives in the hand of Jesus and trust in His strength rather than their own. Choosing to follow Jesus means putting Him first, before their own wants and wishes, and their desire for their own earthly self-preservation.
Practical Application
There are many different bases by which to evaluate a person's worth. This determination is partially dependent upon the perspective of the evaluator. The dictionary defines worth as, "the value of something measured by its qualities or by the esteem in which it is held." The secular humanistic worldview places a person's value on their ability to perform. Someone who is a religious legalist would place a person's value on how well they are able to keep the rules they are expected to follow. By contrast, the Kingdom worldview sees a person's worth as being based upon their character, or their value to God as a person. God sees people as they truly are, and values them by the strength of their relationship with him.
In essence, every human being has the same value based on the fact that they are created in the image of God. This is not an easy thing for human beings to see for themselves, though, because as temporal and finite beings, they obviously have a very different perspective than an infinite and omniscient God does. Therefore, human beings are unable to view the true character of those they come in contact with. They are only able to evaluate each other based on what they are able to perceive using their five senses. These senses can only be used to perceive what someone does rather than who they are. While God sees someone's heart, man sees his actions.
Having a heart to serve God means living life as He commanded. According to Martin Luther, “The works themselves do not justify him before God, but he does the works out of spontaneous life in obedience to God and considers nothing except the approval of god, whom he would most scrupulously obey in all things." (Luther 2003 p.36) Human beings see evidence of the character of others by the way they exhibit their faith in their actions.
Human beings believe each other to be in a right relationship with God, and therefore possessing of a Christian character, when they exhibit Christ-like behavior toward one other. When someone acts in a Christ-like manner toward someone else, they are often referred to as having acted in a "Christian" manner. Likewise when someone is intentionally mean, cruel, or hurtful toward someone else, they are perceived as not being very Christian. For example, saying something spiteful to someone else is not a very nice, or a “Christian" thing to do, and someone who said such a thing would not be thought of as a "good Christian."
References
When it comes to the Christ-like character development process, what we are really talking about is a matter of discipleship, true heart change, Kingdom character development or sanctification, since all of these terms really mean one and the same thing. In the context of Scripture, there is significant evidence of it at work in many different Biblical characters, one of whom is Simon Peter, also referred to as Cephas.
Essentially, the Biblical character development process involves dying to self and self-wishes in order to obey the will of God. The New Testament provides a great deal of insight into the life of the Disciple Peter. There are a variety of different passages that focus on the development of his Christ-like character through the circumstances he was involved in, the challenges he faced, the behavioral choices he was presented with, the source of empowerment he selected, and the final outcomes. He walked a particular path through his life’s journey before reaching his final maturity level.
Circumstances
There isn’t much background information provided about Peter, other than the facts that he was a fisherman who was a disciple of John the Baptist. The initial Biblical reference to him can be found in John 1:35-42 where Jesus calls His first disciples. It took Peter a while to understand what Jesus was teaching, so on numerous occasions, he asked Jesus for an explanation. This displayed not only his lack of understanding, but also, more importantly, his desire to learn and to seek the truth.
From the time of his calling, Peter had a heart-felt desire to serve and follow Jesus, - he just initially lacked the necessary understanding. In Matthew 16:13-20, Peter declared his belief about the true identity of Jesus – as The Christ, The Messiah, The Anointed One. Peter knew who Jesus was, - he just didn’t initially fully understand what Jesus’s role really entailed. It took a while for Peter to honestly absorb and fully comprehend the teachings of Jesus.
Originally he didn’t understand that Jesus’s Kingdom was not an earthly one, but a Spiritual one. Peter had a view of the duty of the Messiah that was more in alignment with a commonly held Jewish believe of the time than with who Jesus actually was. He expected Jesus to overthrow the governing authorities, and wanted political power and favor in the Kingdom that Jesus talked about establishing. When Jesus talked about being the Suffering Servant who must die and be raised again (Matthew 16:21-28), Peter refuted His teaching, saying that it would not happen that way. Peter didn’t understand that it needed to happen that way. When Jesus was betrayed by Judas and taken captive by the authorities, Peter couldn’t grasp what was happening and why. It was this shattering of his worldview that opened his eyes to the truth and brought about his radical change of heart.
Challenge to Peter
Peter believed that he was a righteous man and a devout follower of Jesus. He believed that he was an exemplary disciple who would allow himself to be lead anywhere by Jesus and through anything, even unto death. In Matthew 26:33, Peter vehemently asserts to Jesus, “Though all become deserters because of you, I will never desert you.” Yet Jesus responds to this statement by foretelling of Peter’s betrayal (Matthew 26:34-35, Mark 14:30, and Luke 22:34), by stating that despite his protestations to the contrary, Peter would deny Him three times that very same evening.
Choice Before Him
When Peter was confronted with the reality of what it truly meant for Jesus to be the Messiah, it shattered his worldview. As he watched Jesus’s arrest, he was in shock and perhaps didn’t know what to do or how to react. When Jesus was arrested, he continued to follow Him, at least physically. He was forced to realize that what Jesus had been saying about His having to suffer and die was coming to fruition. Perhaps he feared for his own life, wondering if the same fate would befall him. He saw only the fact that Jesus was about to suffer and die, not that He would be raised again from the dead, as foretold in the Scriptures. When Peter was confronted in the courtyard (Matthew 26:69-75), his first reaction was to protect himself, rather than to honor Jesus. It was easy for him to follow Jesus as his Rabbi (teacher) when there were no consequences for his loyalty, but when he was faced with the choice of where his loyalties truly lay, he thought only of himself and denied Jesus. He succumbed to the temptation to put his own wellbeing first above his discipleship to Jesus. It wasn’t until he heard the rooster’s final crow, and remembered what Jesus had told him, that he truly understood the situation that he was in. When Peter realized what he had done, he repented, and wept bitterly over his sin.
Source of Empowerment He Selected
Peter’s own betrayal of Jesus, and his desire to again prove his loyalty, had probably been on his mind since Jesus’s crucifixion. His heart-felt and painful repentance brought about a significant change in him. John 21 recounts Jesus’s third appearance to His disciples after the Resurrection. Verse 7 indicates that as soon as Peter recognized Jesus, he was so anxious to see Him again that he jumped into the water to get to Him more quickly, while everyone else waited to come in on the boat. It is entirely possible that he expected to be able to walk on water again, as he had done before in Matthew 14:25-33, but essentially what matters was his earnest desire to prove the loyalty to Jesus, a loyalty which he had previously rejected.
Verses 15-19 describe the scene following the breakfast on the beach, where Jesus personally interacts with Peter, apart from the other disciples. In this passage, Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves Him, and when he answers in the affirmative, he is told to minister to the children of God, “tend my sheep.” He denied Jesus three times, so he was allowed the opportunity to repent by confirming three times that he really did love Jesus.
Final Outcomes
Peter’s life is an example of the fact that God’s sanctification process is primarily one of bringing about the death of self-focus, while relying on God’s strength. He recognized when he had sinned against Jesus and repented of that sin. His life was not without flaw, but it was not expected to be. Only Jesus was capable of living a sinless life – Peter was not, as he was only human.
The lesson that can be learned from the life of Peter is that discipleship does not require perfection, but rather recognition of failure and true repentance. A Christian who claims to follow Jesus in all aspects of life can still make mistakes. The saying is that, “Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven,” because when a Christian makes a mistake, as they invariably will, they repent and are forgiven.
Peter made a mistake by denying his personal relationship with Jesus – a momentary lapse of judgement, a choice which he regretted bitterly. His apology to Jesus was in the form of his trice affirmation of his true love for Jesus. A fact that he was able to prove, time and time again, in his later ministry. His teachings about Jesus are made clear in his epistles.
As is often the case in the life of Christians, Peter’s failure brought about a greater strength. It was through his crisis of faith, in his denial of Jesus, that he was made stronger in his faith. A fact that many Christians hate to admit is that it often takes suffering to bring about an honest change of heart. What truly matters is the recognition of human frailty and inability to please God, on top of the fact that God is in control. Christians must put their lives in the hand of Jesus and trust in His strength rather than their own. Choosing to follow Jesus means putting Him first, before their own wants and wishes, and their desire for their own earthly self-preservation.
Practical Application
There are many different bases by which to evaluate a person's worth. This determination is partially dependent upon the perspective of the evaluator. The dictionary defines worth as, "the value of something measured by its qualities or by the esteem in which it is held." The secular humanistic worldview places a person's value on their ability to perform. Someone who is a religious legalist would place a person's value on how well they are able to keep the rules they are expected to follow. By contrast, the Kingdom worldview sees a person's worth as being based upon their character, or their value to God as a person. God sees people as they truly are, and values them by the strength of their relationship with him.
In essence, every human being has the same value based on the fact that they are created in the image of God. This is not an easy thing for human beings to see for themselves, though, because as temporal and finite beings, they obviously have a very different perspective than an infinite and omniscient God does. Therefore, human beings are unable to view the true character of those they come in contact with. They are only able to evaluate each other based on what they are able to perceive using their five senses. These senses can only be used to perceive what someone does rather than who they are. While God sees someone's heart, man sees his actions.
Having a heart to serve God means living life as He commanded. According to Martin Luther, “The works themselves do not justify him before God, but he does the works out of spontaneous life in obedience to God and considers nothing except the approval of god, whom he would most scrupulously obey in all things." (Luther 2003 p.36) Human beings see evidence of the character of others by the way they exhibit their faith in their actions.
Human beings believe each other to be in a right relationship with God, and therefore possessing of a Christian character, when they exhibit Christ-like behavior toward one other. When someone acts in a Christ-like manner toward someone else, they are often referred to as having acted in a "Christian" manner. Likewise when someone is intentionally mean, cruel, or hurtful toward someone else, they are perceived as not being very Christian. For example, saying something spiteful to someone else is not a very nice, or a “Christian" thing to do, and someone who said such a thing would not be thought of as a "good Christian."
References
Cameron, T. (n.d.). Becoming ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’: The development of the self-regency mechanism from birth to 18 years. Cape Town: South Africa.
Luther, M. (2003). On Christian liberty. Minneapolis, MI: Fortress Press.
Mirriam-Webster, I. (1996). Mirriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary. (10th ed.) Springfield, MA: Mirriam-Webster.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Thoughts on Mothers’ Day from Someone Who Wants to be a Mother
I know I've written on this topic before, but it is weighing heavily on my heart right now. My heart aches....
Mothers’ Day is a rough time of year for me on several different levels. I didn’t know how difficult it was going to be. The problem is that I no longer have my mother (she passed away suddenly in 2008) and I am not yet a mother. I guess the problem is that not only did I expected to still have my mother, but I expected to be a mother at least once, if not twice over by now. I want to be a mother – sometimes so badly it hurts. I miss my mother very much – sometimes so badly I feel like I can’t breathe.
The men of my church are hosting a mother-daughter dinner on Friday. I’m glad I had a prior commitment that I could use as an excuse, because I got sick of people asking me if I would be attending – They should know by now that I neither have my mother anymore, nor do I have a daughter (or a son, for that matter). I made the mistake of going to the mall with my husband yesterday to pick up a couple things – every store we went in, there were signs touting mothers’ day specials and I was wished a “Happy Mothers’ Day” by the sales people – I have even received several promotional emails wishing me “Happy Mothers’ Day”.
Why do people automatically assume that I am a mother? I want to be a mother and it hurts that I'm not. They assume that just because I am a married woman in my mid-30s (my gray hair probably makes me look older) that I am a mother. I know people who are even older than I am who are not mothers (and plenty who are younger who are). I love children. I love spending time with my friends’ children and the children at our church, but I really hate it when people ask me why I don’t have any children or tell me that I am so good with kids that I should have some of my own. I often don’t know how to respond.
Why do people automatically assume that I am a mother? I want to be a mother and it hurts that I'm not. They assume that just because I am a married woman in my mid-30s (my gray hair probably makes me look older) that I am a mother. I know people who are even older than I am who are not mothers (and plenty who are younger who are). I love children. I love spending time with my friends’ children and the children at our church, but I really hate it when people ask me why I don’t have any children or tell me that I am so good with kids that I should have some of my own. I often don’t know how to respond.
I am beginning to wonder if my oldest niece, who will be 23 in July and is getting married in September, will have children before I do. My best friend is only a couple years older than I am and is a grandmother twice over. It seems like every time I turn around I find out that someone else I know is pregnant or had a baby. Most of my friends have at least one, if not several children. When is it going to be my turn? Will I ever be a mother?
I love the feeling of holding a baby in my arms. I love watching toddlers learning how to walk. I love watching young children discovering things for the first time. I love experiencing with a child the thrill of success (riding a bike for the first time, getting good grades in school, etc.). I love watching children grow into teenagers and becoming young adults.
We are hoping to adopt a child anywhere from newborn to about age 14. While I will never be able to suckle a baby at my breast, I can still experience all the joys and all the tears of watching my children grow up. We’re talking with a social worker about adopting a child from the state foster care system, which is usually children that are at least 9, but some of them are younger. Adopting a child is a serious undertaking and should not be taken lightly. Foster children have special needs and special challenges, but they are still children who deserve a good, loving home. I can’t be doing it for me, though. I can’t be trying to adopt a child to fill a need in my life or a void in my heart – I have to want to adopt a child to give the child a home. Can’t it be a little bit of both, though?
While we would be open to adopting an infant, we aren’t trying to for three reasons: 1) It is VERY difficult to be matched to an infant because there are more people wanting to adopt infants than there are infants; 2) We can’t afford the legal fees associated with adopting an infant and can’t afford to pay the biological mother’s medical bills during her pregnancy; and 3) We really feel that God is calling us to adopt an older child because they are often forgotten about – the older a child gets, the less likely they are to be adopted. Foster children often end up bouncing from home to home until they age out of the system. Many times foster homes are not healthy environments for children – sometimes they are no better than the homes from which they were removed. The need is heartbreaking. I feel for those children – they deserve a chance for a real family, for a sense of permanence, for love! We can give them that.
I want children and there are children who need a home – it seems like a perfect match. We don’t have a lot of money, but we have enough. We don’t have a large house, but we have a good home. We can’t buy a child tons of fancy clothes or expensive toys, but we give them what they need and show them love. Any child we adopt would be our child and would be treated as such. We would be good parents. We just need the chance to give a child a chance…
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Trying to Be "Perfect"
Okay, so I admit it – I am a perfectionist. I like to do things thoroughly and correctly and sometimes I spend entirely too much time trying to make something “perfect”. What’s so wrong with that? It drives me crazy when other people don’t care if they do a sloppy job. Too many people try to get by with doing as little as possible and I hate that. I tend to be the complete opposite and go above and beyond to do more than people expect rather than the absolute minimum required. Plus, I think it is a lot more effective and efficient to do something right the first time rather than having to go back and do it again.
I have had some people tell me that they think I am perfect – that I never make mistakes, but the thing is, I would be the first person to tell you that I am NOT perfect – I make mistakes all the time… everyone does, they just don’t always admit it – or care. I hate when I do something wrong – I am my own worst critic. I often [figuratively] beat myself up worse than anyone else would when I do something wrong. While some people look at the things I’ve done and tell me how great they are, but I look at them and see all the imperfections. I remember a wise man telling me that sometimes you have to settle for “good enough” – that is a concept that I struggle with because I hold myself to such high standards. Other people’s “good enough” is not good enough for me.
I have a great deal of difficulty accepting praise, especially when someone is being too lavish with their accolades. When people gush at me it makes me uncomfortable – partially because I am never certain if they are being serious or mocking me. Also, when people go overboard with complimenting me or thanking me it makes me wonder if accepting their praise would be prideful – should I take the credit for simply using my God-given abilities? The ironic thing is that I am always looking for validation and confirmation that I am doing the right thing and that what I am doing is being appreciated. Is that weird?
The other thing is that I don’t take criticism very well, either. I really don’t like it in the least when someone puts down something I’ve done. Unless I really didn’t put much effort into it, it hurts when someone doesn’t like something I’ve done. I constantly try to explain or justify myself. Maybe that’s why some people seem to believe that I think I’m perfect. The problem is that the opposite is actually the case because I know I’m not perfect – far from it – I just keep trying to be as close as I can and hoping my best is good enough.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Paul's Letter to the Church at Ephesus
Christians are called to live as God’s people, but the question arises as to what that really means? The Bible uses various kinds of figurative language to describe Christians and Christian living. Examples of such language are that Christians are called light, soldiers, the body of Christ, a building, a temple, wise people, children of God, and citizens of God’s Kingdom. The book of Ephesians discusses how the church is the body of Christ. Christians are to be involved in an intimate relationship with God so that their character and spirit will be transformed into Christ-likeness and they will imitate Him in their daily walk and interaction with each other.
The epistle to the Ephesians was written by the Apostle Paul to the believers in the church at Ephesus. It was most likely written at the same time as his letter to the Colossians, in about 60 AD, while he was imprisoned in Rome. Paul was personally acquainted with the church in Ephesus because he founded the church there and remained for about 3 years during one of his missionary journeys (Acts 18:19-21; 19:1-20).
The main theme of verses 3-14 is that a person’s identity in Christ is the most significant aspect of who he or she is. This paragraph identifies all the blessings that Christians can have as members of the Body of Christ. First of all, in Him man has all spiritual blessings. Secondly, Christians are adopted as His children who are set apart for God. Through faith in Christ, man is set free from the bonds of slavery to sin. While all mankind has offended God though sins of omission or sins of commission, He forgives even the worst sins that were committed by someone who is truly repentant. The wisdom of God leads to understanding and everything makes sense and has consummate meaning in Christ. Christians are to serve God and live for His glory because He brought them to and keeps them in the one true faith.
God's workmanship: Relationship between salvation apart from works and being saved by grace. Salvation comes through faith alone by the Grace of God not because of anything that people have done themselves, or because it is something that they have somehow earned. Mankind is Christ’s workmanship in that He has made people who they are and it is only through Him that they can be saved. The fact that people sometimes do good works is the result of their faith rather than the cause of it. People are only saved through the righteousness of Christ and it is because of their relationship with Him that they want to be more like Him. Mankind belongs to God rather than to themselves because He made them. The Greek word for “workmanship” comes from the same root word as the English word “poem”. A poem is a thing of beauty which is created by a poet and reflects his personality. Human beings are God’s workmanship in that they are His creation and an image of Him.
Un-circumcision and circumcision. The Jews believed that by being circumcised they were identified as belonging to the family of God. Circumcision is something that is accomplished by actions on the part of man. What Paul is saying is that our salvation is the accomplishment of Christ, rather than something that we can do ourselves. In Philippians, Paul refers to circumcision as “mutilation” because it is not necessary and doing it to win salvation negates the accomplishments of Christ. In Colossians, Paul says that sin and transgression has been removed from our lives through Christ. Faith in Christ is a circumcision of the heart rather than of the body.
There are several intertwined concepts represented in this passage. First of all, Paul is emphasizing the unity of the Church as one people rather than distinguishing between Jews and Gentiles. The second main idea is that through Christ, people can have direct access to God. The third and most relevant concept is that Christ is the only way for mankind to achieve true reconciliation. In Him, people can have eternal peace because they are no longer separate from God due to their sin.
Apostles and prophets. The use of the phrase “the apostles and prophets,” found in Ephesians 2:20, combines the Old Testament Jewish prophetic tradition with the New Testament apostolic church. It reflects the theme of unity in the church by indicating that the former and the later are, in fact, one in Christ. While Ephesians 4:11-13 also mentions apostles and prophets, the context is clearly different because it relates to the spiritual gifts of the church. These spiritual gifts are said to be used to build up the church and edify its members. Conversely, “the apostles and prophets” mentioned in the earlier passage are referred to as being what the church is built upon rather than with. There were specific requirements for the title of apostle. For this reason, the salutation in several of Paul’s letters includes a defense of his apostleship. Likewise, the Old Testament clearly names those who were known to be prophets. There is a difference between people who are identified as being apostles or prophets and people who have been granted those individual spiritual gifts.
Christ as the cornerstone of the church. In Ephesians 2:20b-22, Paul referred to Christ as “the chief cornerstone” of the church. While this is a reference to the temple in Jerusalem, it also indicates the foundational role Christ plays in the body of His church because without Him, the church could not stand. The term cornerstone can be used to indicate the whole foundation. Colloquially, to call something a “cornerstone” is to say that it is foundational.
In the context of the book of Ephesians, though, there is deeper meaning in the use of the term “cornerstone.” Architecturally, a cornerstone is often used at the base of the intersection of two walls. The Apostle Paul was writing to the people of Ephesus about how Jews and Gentiles are joined together through Christ and made into one church. A related passage, Ephesians 4:15-16, addresses how the church is held together as the body of Christ with Him at its head.
There is another way in which Christ is the head of the church. Just as the head governs the actions of the body, Christ is the driving force and the controlling factor for all the church does. Ephesians 1:22-23 demonstrates this concept. Other biblical passages, such as Colossians 1:15-18, also refer to Christ as the head of the church, but in relation to His supremacy over it.
1 Peter 2:4-9 vs. Ephesians 2: 20b-22. While some of the terminology is similar between these two passages, the context is somewhat different. 1 Peter offers a call to submission to Christ in all things but with the knowledge that those who do put their trust in Christ will not be disappointed because they will have an eternal reward. The theme in 1 Peter 2:4-9 which relates to Ephesians 2:20b-22, is the concept that all who believe in Christ belong to the same church. Christ is the capstone and the foundation and all believers are the living stones with which the church is built.
The text of Ephesians 4:17-32 addresses the way in which Christians should live their lives. Additionally, it pays specific attention to thinking and acting differently from non-believers. A similar passage is Romans 12:1-2, which instructs Christians to give themselves over to God and live in a way that would be pleasing to Him. Colossians 3 also focuses on Christian living. The underlying theme that is found in all three of these passages is that Christians belong to God and this should be reflected in their lives. The purpose of the church is to glorify and worship God. Therefore the lives of individual believers should have the same goal and focus, as well.
From the Old Testament prophets to the New Testament apostles to contemporary churches, Judeo-Christian theology and tradition has provided instruction on godly interpersonal relationships. Paul's Epistle to the church at Ephesus teaches inspired truth that Christians can use to influence their interactions with their families, friends and co-workers through the principles of reciprocity and mutual submission that should characterize the relationship of Christians have with one another.
Chapter 1:1-2 (salutation):
Author and intended audience
Author and intended audience
The epistle to the Ephesians was written by the Apostle Paul to the believers in the church at Ephesus. It was most likely written at the same time as his letter to the Colossians, in about 60 AD, while he was imprisoned in Rome. Paul was personally acquainted with the church in Ephesus because he founded the church there and remained for about 3 years during one of his missionary journeys (Acts 18:19-21; 19:1-20).
Chapter 1:3-14:
Main idea and purpose
Main idea and purpose
The main theme of verses 3-14 is that a person’s identity in Christ is the most significant aspect of who he or she is. This paragraph identifies all the blessings that Christians can have as members of the Body of Christ. First of all, in Him man has all spiritual blessings. Secondly, Christians are adopted as His children who are set apart for God. Through faith in Christ, man is set free from the bonds of slavery to sin. While all mankind has offended God though sins of omission or sins of commission, He forgives even the worst sins that were committed by someone who is truly repentant. The wisdom of God leads to understanding and everything makes sense and has consummate meaning in Christ. Christians are to serve God and live for His glory because He brought them to and keeps them in the one true faith.
Chapter 2:1-7:
Synonymous phrases
Synonymous phrases
God's workmanship: Relationship between salvation apart from works and being saved by grace. Salvation comes through faith alone by the Grace of God not because of anything that people have done themselves, or because it is something that they have somehow earned. Mankind is Christ’s workmanship in that He has made people who they are and it is only through Him that they can be saved. The fact that people sometimes do good works is the result of their faith rather than the cause of it. People are only saved through the righteousness of Christ and it is because of their relationship with Him that they want to be more like Him. Mankind belongs to God rather than to themselves because He made them. The Greek word for “workmanship” comes from the same root word as the English word “poem”. A poem is a thing of beauty which is created by a poet and reflects his personality. Human beings are God’s workmanship in that they are His creation and an image of Him.
Un-circumcision and circumcision. The Jews believed that by being circumcised they were identified as belonging to the family of God. Circumcision is something that is accomplished by actions on the part of man. What Paul is saying is that our salvation is the accomplishment of Christ, rather than something that we can do ourselves. In Philippians, Paul refers to circumcision as “mutilation” because it is not necessary and doing it to win salvation negates the accomplishments of Christ. In Colossians, Paul says that sin and transgression has been removed from our lives through Christ. Faith in Christ is a circumcision of the heart rather than of the body.
Chapter 2: 11-22:
Peace vs. enmity
Peace vs. enmity
There are several intertwined concepts represented in this passage. First of all, Paul is emphasizing the unity of the Church as one people rather than distinguishing between Jews and Gentiles. The second main idea is that through Christ, people can have direct access to God. The third and most relevant concept is that Christ is the only way for mankind to achieve true reconciliation. In Him, people can have eternal peace because they are no longer separate from God due to their sin.
Chapter 2: 18-22:
Metaphors of citizenship and household
Metaphors of citizenship and household
Apostles and prophets. The use of the phrase “the apostles and prophets,” found in Ephesians 2:20, combines the Old Testament Jewish prophetic tradition with the New Testament apostolic church. It reflects the theme of unity in the church by indicating that the former and the later are, in fact, one in Christ. While Ephesians 4:11-13 also mentions apostles and prophets, the context is clearly different because it relates to the spiritual gifts of the church. These spiritual gifts are said to be used to build up the church and edify its members. Conversely, “the apostles and prophets” mentioned in the earlier passage are referred to as being what the church is built upon rather than with. There were specific requirements for the title of apostle. For this reason, the salutation in several of Paul’s letters includes a defense of his apostleship. Likewise, the Old Testament clearly names those who were known to be prophets. There is a difference between people who are identified as being apostles or prophets and people who have been granted those individual spiritual gifts.
Christ as the cornerstone of the church. In Ephesians 2:20b-22, Paul referred to Christ as “the chief cornerstone” of the church. While this is a reference to the temple in Jerusalem, it also indicates the foundational role Christ plays in the body of His church because without Him, the church could not stand. The term cornerstone can be used to indicate the whole foundation. Colloquially, to call something a “cornerstone” is to say that it is foundational.
In the context of the book of Ephesians, though, there is deeper meaning in the use of the term “cornerstone.” Architecturally, a cornerstone is often used at the base of the intersection of two walls. The Apostle Paul was writing to the people of Ephesus about how Jews and Gentiles are joined together through Christ and made into one church. A related passage, Ephesians 4:15-16, addresses how the church is held together as the body of Christ with Him at its head.
There is another way in which Christ is the head of the church. Just as the head governs the actions of the body, Christ is the driving force and the controlling factor for all the church does. Ephesians 1:22-23 demonstrates this concept. Other biblical passages, such as Colossians 1:15-18, also refer to Christ as the head of the church, but in relation to His supremacy over it.
1 Peter 2:4-9 vs. Ephesians 2: 20b-22. While some of the terminology is similar between these two passages, the context is somewhat different. 1 Peter offers a call to submission to Christ in all things but with the knowledge that those who do put their trust in Christ will not be disappointed because they will have an eternal reward. The theme in 1 Peter 2:4-9 which relates to Ephesians 2:20b-22, is the concept that all who believe in Christ belong to the same church. Christ is the capstone and the foundation and all believers are the living stones with which the church is built.
Workmanship: Nature of the Church.
The text of Ephesians 4:17-32 addresses the way in which Christians should live their lives. Additionally, it pays specific attention to thinking and acting differently from non-believers. A similar passage is Romans 12:1-2, which instructs Christians to give themselves over to God and live in a way that would be pleasing to Him. Colossians 3 also focuses on Christian living. The underlying theme that is found in all three of these passages is that Christians belong to God and this should be reflected in their lives. The purpose of the church is to glorify and worship God. Therefore the lives of individual believers should have the same goal and focus, as well.
Conclusion
From the Old Testament prophets to the New Testament apostles to contemporary churches, Judeo-Christian theology and tradition has provided instruction on godly interpersonal relationships. Paul's Epistle to the church at Ephesus teaches inspired truth that Christians can use to influence their interactions with their families, friends and co-workers through the principles of reciprocity and mutual submission that should characterize the relationship of Christians have with one another.
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